25 secrets for happiness in real estate:

25 secrets for happiness in real estate:

Happiness is more than a state of mind — it’s essential to your life, health and business

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  • If you’re not happy, it’ll ruin your motivation and sour your deals.
  • Happiness is something you need to work at and strive toward every day.
  • Here are secrets 11-25 to achieving happiness.

Living a happy lifestyle is a crucial part of success in real estate, but that doesn’t mean you need to be happy every single moment, nor does it mean that happiness is always easy to come by.

What it does mean is that happiness is something you need to work at and strive toward every day. Being happy might come naturally on some days, and it might take real work to achieve on others. But keep it out there as a goal, an ideal and an aspiration in life.

Happiness isn’t just a reaction to life events. You need to realize that being happy is a mindset you use to view your life.

It is the glass being half-full rather than half-empty. It’s not a state of mind that you reach after you achieve all your goals, but rather a state of mind you start with that carries you toward completing those objectives more easily and efficiently.

We just finished a series of shows discussing this topic on Real Estate Coaching Radio, and we’re proud to present all three episodes below for you to follow along with as you go through our list of the 25 secrets of happy people.

And you’ll learn how being happy transforms people’s professional lives and helps them to achieve greater career success and satisfaction.

25 Secrets For Happiness, Freedom and Success (Part 1-3)



1. Happy people find the good in any situation

They are glass-is-half-full types on purpose. Some are naturally this way, but most are consciously this way. In other words, they choose to be positive and methodically create happiness versus passively accepting what is happening to them in their lives.

Action: Observe how often you consciously or subconsciously “declare” something to be either good or bad. Replace it by saying, “It’s too soon to tell” — to get out of judgment and into possibility.

2. Happy people accept responsibility

They do not blame their emotional state on others. Happy people understand and embrace their power to create the desired outcome. As a result of taking on responsibility, they are more proactive.

Happy people also have specific goals. They base their daily, weekly and monthly actions on those goals. Unhappy people are generally goal-less. Thus, their actions are unfocused and sporadic.

Action: Review your goals. Create, revamp and replace goals you’ve already achieved. If you have no goals, begin by writing down what you don’t want in life and what you want to change. Invest in your future with the real estate treasure map.

3. Happy people attract other positive relationships and actively avoid negative ones

They are and attract battery chargers versus battery drainers.

Action: Make a list of people who make you happy and people who bring you down. Stop talking and hanging out with those who drain your mental and emotional battery.

Set coffee or brunch dates with people you are motivated by and excited to know. Hire a coach who will motivate you and hold you accountable to your goals.

4. Happy people rarely complain and are repulsed by chronic whiners

Complaining is like a magnifying glass over negative emotions — it only serves to make them worse.

Action: Make a commitment never to complain again. As soon as you hear yourself, ask yourself if you have the power to change what you’re complaining about. If you do, make the change. If you don’t, stop whining.

5. Happy people are not necessarily more talented or naturally skilled than everyone else

They simply find ways to maximize what they are good at and fill in the gaps with targeted education and skill-building.

Action: What skills do you need to pursue so you can achieve a higher level of happiness? What can you do more of that you’re already great at?

6. Happy people have a low expression of ego

They admit mistakes, and they apologize when appropriate. They know the difference between confidence and arrogance.

Action: Observe how many times during your average day you have some expression of having to be right or summarily rejecting responsibility. Make the commitment to apologize sincerely when appropriate.

Here’s a secret. A sincere apology has four elements:

  • Admitting what you did wrong.
  • Acknowledging that some pain or damage was caused.
  • Stating you are responsible.
  • Stating regret with a promise not to repeat, and ask for forgiveness.

7. Happy people make decisions quickly

Because they are OK with making mistakes and recalibrating, happy people move forward more quickly and don’t get stuck on decisions.

Action: What are you currently procrastinating on making a decision about? Make a deadline to decide. Ask questions to help make the decision. Then, decide and move forward.

Here’s a secret: When making tough decisions, act as if you’ve decided one way, and see how you feel about it. Then change the decision, and see how you feel if you did the opposite.

It’s helpful to remind yourself that if it turns out to be the wrong decision, you can always recalibrate.

8. Happy people have clearly defined standards in their personal and business lives

Happy people are clear about what they want and don’t want.

Action: If your coach were to ask you what the three most important things you’re working on right now are, could you answer immediately, succinctly and with specifics?

9. Happy people do have negative emotions

They feel fear, uncertainty, confusion and frustration, but they don’t allow those feelings and thoughts to control them. They identify the feelings and take action to reach a resolution — moving toward a positive change.

Action: Observe your reaction when you feel a negative way or have negative thoughts. Do you replace those thoughts and feelings with action, or do you get stuck?

10. Happy people are ambitious

They detest the autopilot mode and strive to be in the pilot’s seat, even if that means flying into unknown territory. Passive behavior leads to reactive and victim types of emotions.

Active behavior leads to happiness. The simple act of taking control just by itself puts you in a better place emotionally and mentally.

Action: What are you avoiding right now that persists? What are you feeling like a victim about, or where are you feeling a loss of control? Write three things to take action on, so you are in the pilot’s seat and not in the back of the plane with the toilets.

11. Happy people are not procrastinators

Here is the happy person’s affirmation: “I’m a doer. I do things now; I get things done.”

Action: Adopt that affirmation immediately.

12. Happy people are at peace with the accumulation effect

They are not addicted to instant gratification. Happy people are results-oriented; thus, they value effective and efficient results, even if it takes longer.

Action: What specific actions are you taking daily to achieve the goals you’ve set forward?

13. Happy people understand the Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer goes like this: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Happy people don’t give much energy to things they cannot change but instead spend their efforts fully on those things they do have control over.

Action: What are you banging your head over things in which you have no control? What do you have control of but need to be more proactive about?

14. Happy people are not out of shape

They are not slobs. They take care of themselves physically because they understand the impact that physical health has on mental health, as well as emotional and financial health.

Action: Take a second and be honest. Are you at your perfect weight? What does your office look like? Your car? Your wardrobe? What needs to be upgraded? Who will hold you accountable for taking those steps?

Here’s the secret: Create a body-double image in your mind. Who do you want to look like, sound like and speak like? Choose an actor or actress, a historical figure or a leader you respect. Adapt and adopt their traits. It’s easier than recreating on your own.

15. Happy people have a mindset of giving before getting

They are not in conflict about being here to serve. Happy people become happier when they help someone else achieve versus unhappy people who feel something is taken away from them.

Action: Write five thank-you notes every day to shine the light on someone else. You’ll feel great doing it, and they’ll feel great getting a thoughtful card from you.

16. Happy people strive for balance

Happy people are not necessarily in perfect balance with the five areas of life (family, physical, financial, educational, spiritual), but they are actively striving for their specific goals in those areas. Health and happiness are being pursued actively, not passively.

Action: Get serious about your goal setting. Post your goals on your wall. Remember that goals must be measurable, specific, time-dependent and posted.

17. Happy people ask questions; they are always learning

They have coaches in multiple areas of life. They haven’t stagnated educationally, financially or emotionally.

Action: Who is holding you accountable to the things you claim are important to you? How much faster would you get there if you weren’t going it alone?

18. Happy people love to be in the middle two stages of mastery

The two phases of mastery are conscious incompetence and conscious competence. Happy people don’t allow themselves to feel that they know it all.

Action: Become familiar with the stages of mastery and know where you are on different skills required for you to reach your goals. What steps are necessary to move into the middle two most profitable stages?

19. Happy people are at peace with being spiritual beings in a materialistic world

They use things to improve their lifestyle, not to show off, but to create peace in their world and set an example to others of what they can do, be, see and have.

Action: If you say things like “I’m not in it for the money” or “I can’t afford that,” cure those thoughts with goal setting and skill improvement so you can instead have the life of your dreams.

Here’s the secret: The life of your dreams does cost money.

20. Happy people are versatile and flexible

They embrace change instead of hide from it. They have the ability to communicate with multiple types of people in different situations successfully and create positive outcomes.

Action: Take the DiSC personality test. Understand who you are, who your best relationships are and which types of people challenge you. Strive for versatility.

Here’s the secret: Versatile people are happier, make more money and feel less stress in life. People who lack versatility are more negative, more stressed and often broke.

21. Happy people insulate themselves from soaking up the emotions of others

They are compassionate, gracious and nurturing without being drawn into the problems of others. They know how to protect their emotional well-being.

Action: Develop affirmations to protect your emotional health, so you can still show compassion without getting into the mud.

22. Happy people understand that conflict can lead to positive outcomes

Conflict can lead to positive results and, therefore, shouldn’t be avoided at all costs. Instead, happy people understand the challenge, face it and work through it.

Action: Observe your reaction to conflict. Do you negotiate immediately or let things sit and fester? Do you meet challenges head-on or wait for something to force your hand? Decide to embrace conflict and learn from it, instead of avoiding it at all cost.

Here’s the secret: Avoiding conflict costs you money and expands your feelings of frustration. It squelches happiness.

23. Happy people are not quick to judge, belittle or insult

They know the power of positivity, so those actions are incongruent with the happy person’s standards.

Action: Decide today to get out of judgment and into curiosity.

24. Happy people seek out opportunities

They seek out opportunities to give back versus always looking for a handout. They have a mindset of abundance, not of scarcity.

Action: Remind yourself that the world is full of abundance. There is enough to go around. If you’re not living the life of your dreams, it simply means you haven’t found a way to help enough people yet.

25. Happy people have the ability to change channels

They have a quitting time for work, and a family-time and a fun-time channel. Time management is a way of life, not just a fleeting idea.

They are in control of what’s important and can switch from situation to situation with ease.

Action: Monitor your “time in the gray area.” The gray area is where stress lives. It’s when you are at work, wishing you’re on vacation or when you’re on vacation and checking your cellphone incessantly. Learn to change and turn off channels.

Every trait that happy people share centers on taking control, getting into action and accepting that it’s in your power to control your level of happiness. Take action now.

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